Don’t Give Up


Rather you know it or not, marriage is similar to working out. Everyone wants a killer body/relationship, but how many are willing to put in the work? After the initial excitement has wore off, you start to feel like “ugh not today, tomorrow!” I’ll be the first to admit, it’s hard work to maintain a healthy marriage. You have to be present, be active and be sensitive.

Let’s compare it to working out just for a moment. When you have that feeling of, “hey I’m gonna workout” …you prepare yourself mentally and physically. You scout gyms, a swolemate, shoes, workout gear, even a fancy water bottle. The very next day you’ll either lace up or say, “I’ll get to it some other time.” If you do get off the couch, you’ll see that it’s more work then you anticipated. A marriage is no different. You get prepared mentally and physically, you buy the gear and then you either propose or you wait and wait for the right time. Finally after you work up some nerves, you realize it’s hard work. The planning of the wedding then the marriage. Now that you’ve started a marriage allow me to give you three steps to stick it out…

Step 1. Don’t compare your start to someone else’s end. Rather you’ve been married for 11hrs or 11 yrs develop your own rhythm. Like lifting weights…Don’t go behind the guy lifting 350, thinking you’ll get ripped like him by lifting his max. No sir, if 150 is your max then stick with that, over time you’ll build strength. When it comes to your marriage know you and your spouse limit. If you see an argument going in the wrong direction…pause and lighten the load. Don’t ever provoke.

Step 2. Don’t isolate yourself. You’re in a marriage, which means you ought to be building together. I see married couples who are not even concerned about their spouse, do you not know they’re a reflection of you? Don’t leave them during the good times or the tough times.

Step 3. Keep the excitement going! When it comes to working out, you can get burned out quickly. So trainers recommend music, energy bars or drinks…(please stick with the healthy choices). The excitement in your marriage will last as long as you make it exciting. If all you do is watch T.V. and eat HoHo’s then you’re gonna run into a problem, or better yet slouch into a problem…because all those HoHo’s will prevent you from running. Kick up the romance, add some play time into your busy schedule.

Don’t look at your marriage and dread it, get excited and get help! For counseling or speaking events, please contact our office at 951-665-8475, or by email at

Until next time be happy my friends.


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